OUR
SPACECRAFT
what to expect
By ZOR.44
Y’know, we don’t really have a spacecraft per se’ right now. We just beam around the ‘verse on invisible (to humans) plastic discs. Our Fake Supreme Leader modeled them after your infamous yellow RPM adapters, which we call “spindles” and use in our logo. It took us a while to figure out what that was because we don’t have vinyl 45s on our planet. You would think we would since it’s our namesake. But hey, it’s a handy design and works for us! Our fake Supreme Leader keeps boasting he is going to build us a big Voyager-style ship, so we can arrive in style. But it’s just a bunch of lip service, the cheapskate. He also promised to reveal the “Secrets of the Universe.” You‘ll meet him. He always shows up when we least expect it... and ruins everything.
WHAT 70’s music means to me
By Nate.48
Like my fellow Aliens, I fell in love with the music of the 70’s through repeated binge-watching of the Midnight Special, gloriously beamed to our tiny planet from Earth. Thank you, Burt Sugarman! You may not think Aliens fall in love, but twe do. I’m still looking for my true connection and have even considered a human match if it is at all in stars. But back to the 70s when apparently life was beautiful and Top 40 was king of the airwaves, or so I am led to believe. Of course, the deeper cuts are just as appealing and I am still trying to wrap my head around this Stairway to Heaven concept. I think we may have passed by the place on our way to Earth, if it’s the one with the big pearly gates, but not sure.
ARRIVAL & DEPARTURE
By ZEE.43
Ok, so this is how it works. We select a specified time and location. Then, let’s say a giant light beam appears on the stage and blasts the audience, blinding you all momentarily. Badass Aliens appear and proceed to rock your socks off! Our song choices are preformed flawlessly and with our own unique twists. The humans dance, bop and sing along to the sounds of the 1970’s. Some will faint, others will squeal with delight, many will be transported in their minds virtually to a more free wheeling, carefree existence. But be forewarned! Once you are levitating, time will not move at the rate in which you are accustomed. If you disappear into the ether through sheer exhilaration, awe and exhaustion, you will still be charged. ;)
